Would you like the schnitzel or the salad? …
Did you know, that before you even finished reading that question you already new what your choice would be?!
The fact is our past experiences (which live in our subconscious) run our every day decisions. Could you imagine how overwhelmed we’d become if we actually acknowledged the twenty thousand thoughts, feeling and emotions that run though our minds on any one day?!
In this blog, we are going to chat about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable when it comes to leaving your safe, warm lounge room to venture outside and meet new people or experience new things…
We get comfortable with what we have, because it’s just easier.
What happens when we decide the comfort of our lounge room is far more appealing than the dreaded outside?!
Or we get super comfortable with our small social network and begin to hate all other people?!
What happens when we start telling ourselves that networking or meeting new people is too much hard work?!
Truth is, when we give this judgemental inner voice too much airtime, we can start to convince ourselves of scenarios that are just, put simply – untrue. This can lead to isolation and loneliness.
I have personally had people explain to me that they “feel fake” and talking about the same old thing (small talk) is considered by some to be tiresome and boring. Others explain they are content with the friends they have and have no desire to expand their friendship group. While I understand these perspectives, I personally love meeting new people as I find the majority of people I meet interesting.
We tend to have the same pattern of thought, finding people’s stories unique and mostly fascinating. When engaging with different people we will often learn something new or share something we think is valuable. If we’re lucky trust will be established which in turn leads to being able to support each other. Maybe I can help them, maybe they can help me one day down the track. Who knows… as long as kindness is the foundation you can’t go wrong.
Often making new friends becomes a necessity with life cycle changes. Some examples include moving to foreign countries, moving schools, change in interests & moving to new work places. For those with children, their age and the interests of their children may also influence their friendship group.
We cross paths with everyone in our lives at a specific time for a particular reason. Some people will be in our lives from the beginning to the end, some for years or chapters others for a fleeting moment. Sometimes we may not even know a person’s name but their act of kindness might pick us up or give direction and guidance. Maybe it’s our act of kindness that simply puts a smile on their face.
An important aspect to note is that humans are innately afraid of rejection and yet need community for survival.
If you’re running a pattern of thought that you learnt a child which sounds like this: don’t talk to strangers, perhaps you can recognise that served you well as a child, but as an adult it may be hindering your ability to make new friends.
Good news is that if you want to become comfortable with being uncomfortable Hypnotherapy can help you create new patterns of thought which will challenge your view on meeting new people or going outside to experience something new. Perhaps you can take the challenge and escape the comfort of your lounge room.
Vara Glover has over 14 years experience leading, coaching, developing and managing people to be the best they can be. She’s an expert in improving your personal success, allowing you to be the best you can be. Vara also specialises in overcoming phobias, fears, and anxiety. You can book an appointment and learn more about Vara here. She practices hypnotherapy at Your Wellness Focus.