I wonder how kind you are to yourself? … Is negative self talk part of your normal?…
Are you able to get dressed in the morning and feel great? Or are you looking in the mirror and tearing yourself apart?
Do you tell yourself that you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not capable enough or just not worth it?
Usually this negative self talk has been a super power for you. At some point it kept you safe and had a job to do. In order to stop the negative self talk, it can be valuable to learn why it’s there in the first place.
If you come from a family where failure isn’t an option, then you may use negative self talk to stop you from trying new things.
If you really love cooking and are trying to lose weight, maybe you’re using negative self talk as a way to fail your health kick – then you don’t need change your cooking!
Can you see how it may have been helpful to you?
And what about now? If it’s something you’d like to change about yourself, here are some ways to stop the negative talk and take a leap into self acceptance and happiness.
It starts with really learning who you are. Once you start this, your self worth and value will increase. Self worth is the kryptonite to negative self talk. You can do this by;
- Writing a list of I AM statements and being firm on your true self.
I AM thoughtful.
I AM really amazing at making the perfect cheese toastie.
I AM great at remembering birthdays.
I AM honest.
- Journalling Daily
Acknowledging and writing down your feelings allows them to be valuable. And if you feel your feelings are important enough to write down, then your self worth is growing in the right direction. All you have to do is just start writing. To begin with it may be a few words, thoughts, or pages or self reflection. There’s not right way to journal, just tap into what’s really going on for you.
- Be Honest
Some of the things you’re telling yourself, just aren’t true. And if we’re just really honest with ourselves, then we can minimise the negative self talk.
If you hit a concrete pole in the carpark, it’s not evidence that you’re a terrible driver. Maybe you’re just not great at parking the car today?
If you forget to take the lasagne out of the oven and it burns, you’re not an idiot. You just forgot to take the lasagne out.
If you’re telling yourself you’re stupid because you failed an exam, maybe you’re just not good at Statistics 101. And you know what, that’s OK.
– Try Kindness
When you catch yourself being unkind, try to give yourself a break.
If you’re feeling like you don’t want to exercise on a day you planned to, instead of telling yourself you’re lazy, try…I’m not feeling motivated today, and that’s OK. Maybe you’ll go an work out anyway?
When you’re feeling like your hair is a mess and you don’t look how you want to, instead of using nasty words, try…I don’t feel as good as I want to today, and that’s OK.
By interrupting your negative self talk with self acceptance, you begin to stop the cycle.